Some behavior in your child will seem "good" to you. Other behavior will seem unequivocally "bad". Notice both in your children without being overly impressed by one nor overly dismayed by the other. In doing so, you will be imitating the Tao which sees our behavior as a mask and sees immediately beneath it to the good within our hearts. Above all, do not attack your child's behavior and attempt to change it by endlessly talking or scolding. Stay at your center and look beneath the behavior to the heart of the child. There you will find only good. When you see the heart, you will know what to do.
Authors Note: Of course some behavior is dangerous to the child and to others. Express your concern with the behavior. Do not attack the child. Consider now a particular behavior that concern you. Meditate carefully and see through to the heart of your child. What does it tell you?
Katie's Interpretation: Because our children dont have the communication skills we have, it is up to the adults, the parents, to effectively see beyond the frustration, to the core of the person. Understanding where this frustration (bad behavior) comes from, can lead your to a solution. Feelings are always acceptable, feelings dont have to be disagreed upon and letting your child know that you get his message, doesn't mean that you approve, it just means that you understand what he is trying to communicate. Once you can accept his feelings and allow him the respect to feel those feeling, can you come to see whats best, at that point, to do.
In an attempt to find peace and wisdom in parenting, I am typing up a chapter each week of the Parents Tao Te Ching. My goal is to interpret the 81 philosophical chapters in order to fully realize its message and the advice given by the author. Feel free to leave your interpretation of a message that particularly strikes you.
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