Some behavior in your child will seem "good" to you. Other behavior will seem unequivocally "bad". Notice both in your children without being overly impressed by one nor overly dismayed by the other. In doing so, you will be imitating the Tao which sees our behavior as a mask and sees immediately beneath it to the good within our hearts. Above all, do not attack your child's behavior and attempt to change it by endlessly talking or scolding. Stay at your center and look beneath the behavior to the heart of the child. There you will find only good. When you see the heart, you will know what to do.
Authors Note: Of course some behavior is dangerous to the child and to others. Express your concern with the behavior. Do not attack the child. Consider now a particular behavior that concern you. Meditate carefully and see through to the heart of your child. What does it tell you?
Katie's Interpretation: Because our children dont have the communication skills we have, it is up to the adults, the parents, to effectively see beyond the frustration, to the core of the person. Understanding where this frustration (bad behavior) comes from, can lead your to a solution. Feelings are always acceptable, feelings dont have to be disagreed upon and letting your child know that you get his message, doesn't mean that you approve, it just means that you understand what he is trying to communicate. Once you can accept his feelings and allow him the respect to feel those feeling, can you come to see whats best, at that point, to do.
In an attempt to find peace and wisdom in parenting, I am typing up a chapter each week of the Parents Tao Te Ching. My goal is to interpret the 81 philosophical chapters in order to fully realize its message and the advice given by the author. Feel free to leave your interpretation of a message that particularly strikes you.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Infinite Possibilities
You do not know the true origin of your children. You call them yours but they belong to a greater mystery. You do not know the name of this mystery, but it is the true mother and father of your children. At birth your children are filled with possibilities. It is not your job to limit these possibilities. Do not say "This and That are possible for you, these other things are not." They will discover on their own what is and is not possible. It is your job to help them stay open to the marvelous mysteries of life.
Authors Notes: It may be interesting to ask, "What limitations have I, unthinking, taken upon myself?" It is very difficult for your child's horizons to be greater than your own. Do something today that pushes against your own preconceptions. Then take your child's hand and gently encourage her to do the same.
Katie's Interpretation: I would figure as a parent it must be difficult to watch your child walk a difficult life, but I also know that each sole has to walk its own path. I believe that each sole understands its sets of difficulties and achievements before it reaches our world. And to interrupt the learning experience is to stunt its spiritual growth. I have to work on not giving advice when not asked. I tend to go off on rants, albeit my intentions are from the heart, it tends to be unsolicited. I try to remind myself that my son is Gods child and that I am here as his earthly guide. Sometimes I sit and try to think of all the weird things he may become, or want to study, or be interested in, so that nothing comes as a shock. I want to be his best "supporting actress" .... and although this is much easier said than done, the process will be my own growing experience as a parent.
Authors Notes: It may be interesting to ask, "What limitations have I, unthinking, taken upon myself?" It is very difficult for your child's horizons to be greater than your own. Do something today that pushes against your own preconceptions. Then take your child's hand and gently encourage her to do the same.
Katie's Interpretation: I would figure as a parent it must be difficult to watch your child walk a difficult life, but I also know that each sole has to walk its own path. I believe that each sole understands its sets of difficulties and achievements before it reaches our world. And to interrupt the learning experience is to stunt its spiritual growth. I have to work on not giving advice when not asked. I tend to go off on rants, albeit my intentions are from the heart, it tends to be unsolicited. I try to remind myself that my son is Gods child and that I am here as his earthly guide. Sometimes I sit and try to think of all the weird things he may become, or want to study, or be interested in, so that nothing comes as a shock. I want to be his best "supporting actress" .... and although this is much easier said than done, the process will be my own growing experience as a parent.
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